Trying

"Keep trying, you can do it."
You say to me.
I try.
I always try.
But I can't.

Why is it that others get
Everything without much effort?
Why is it that others get
Their dreams fulfilled?
Why is it that
You keep lying to me?
You know I can't,
Yet you always get my hopes up
Only to crush them again.

If I succeed in something,
It's probably just a fluke.
An accidental stroke of luck,
A coincidental advantage.

In front of my own eyes
I see people excel;
I see people succeed;
I see people leave me behind,
Going on to pursue their aspirations.

Looking all over,
I see countless things
That destroy my self-esteem.
I painstakingly rebuild it
Only for it to be torn down again
By the bulldozer of failure.

I've heard the saying that
Anything is possible if you try.
However, I start to doubt it.
Even though I have the passion for it,
I can't succeed in it
Simply because I lack the talent to.
Even if I try,
I won't be able to,
Since there is always someone out there
Who has the proficiency which I don't -
Who is better than I am.
Over time, I start thinking
"Since I can't anyway, why bother trying?"

"Why aren't you trying anymore?"
You ask.
I don't have a definite answer,
Just the thought that I'd had enough.
I'd given up.